Shapes of release

I was in many shapes before I was released

First I thought I was the good dumb daughter my parents wished me to be.
Anger broke my boundaries... I realized I could never be that. I wanted to gather all the moss of a rolling stone. There couldn't have been any guarantees of only getting the goodness. I was open to all that I loved. Good or Bad or complicated.

Then I thought may be a good life,well lived would be a nice idea...
A handsome Goodlooking man for me, with a Big Car, and our goodlooking children playing in his garden. But something in me just wouldn't say yes to that...I wanted much more than a good life...I wanted to run naked in the streets...To feel the sun on my bare skin. To never be civilized out of my wildness. To be handsome and good-looking with a big car of my own!
It was a rude thing to do.Some times I think It happens to women who aren't born petite and dainty.

There were times I would shrink myself to fit the right size...It doesn't happen very often now.

Sometimes I think I am a ballet dancer inside. Who has ached in the nerves to find that balance. Standing on the tip of my thumb...stretched out to perfection...a shape just for its own sake..no one else matters in that dance.

Often I get lost among handsome faces and magical cunning shapes....but there is always a clock ticking away...it doesn't loose any second for anybody in the world...it just keeps ticking to the truth of its own time....

I find my shapes of release in forgetting the beauty I saw in your shape. The love was so short and the forgetting so long!

But it comes and I find my shapes of release.