Jun 26, 2008

Tell me someday

What were you doing when I sang that song, the best that i have sung so far...
does that song not come back to you on fresh mornings when you want to get on with your new life?
what did you hear when I bared my heart to you.
What do you see when you see me?
How much do I total up to in your MATHEMATICS of life.
Tell me do my prayers reach you?
Does my silent anger cause some irritation in your throat?
Do you feel complete on that mountain with my hopes all floating around your neck..arent you scared that someday they will gather like a noose and strangle your noble thoughts on the world.
Dont you have spirals of our conversation floating around you when somebody talks to you? does it not catch you unaware?
Have people never snapped at you because you were absentminded thinking about me?
tell me someday...why doesnt it happen to you..like it happens to me!

Empty bed blues....


Somedays I get up and feel this lump of great sadness in my throat.
Those days its a shame to look inside. There is a wet lump of lonliness dangling around somewhere..dont know if the world sees it..I feel it hanging down my shoulders.
And then doubts creep in like sand snakes on the shore
Has my love so far has been a total waste of everybodies time?
I havnt built anything that would last me and I havnt found anything that was really mine...All I wanted to do was temporary...my art, my work..all about fads that passed away gradually
I pray for grace...and I feel a kick in my gut...its not happening..
The prayers flare up inside...I cant be patient when I see nothing to hold onto in my hand.
Somedays its difficult to ignore these loud roaring questions.
Someday I must confront this emptiness and shout and swear at the world..
How long will I run and leave it all behind?
Where have you disappeared?
Why am I alone in all of this?
Why was I here all these years? For whom?
What have I been doing?
Has it all been waisted time?

A friend far away...

As you make your way in another world...meet new people,make new friends..
what will happen to the world that lives in us?
will you make changes in that world that we had woven together...what changes will those be?
will you keep me updated? will you be able to convey all the one thousand things that are thrown at you
Have you forgotten our anthem of breaking away from this SYSTEM that buys us?
will time buy our dreams?
were those dreams so Juvenile? did they have nothing of our truth in them?
is it so easy to discount us?
am i the only one who misses those times on your roof, overlooking the stars...and the distant lights.
Were our dreams so diffrent?
is this the end of all that...that was to be ..if we let it be?

Jun 23, 2008

Streets on fire




some days you get up from your reverie and the streets are on fire.
there is anger and violence in the air.
You have been building with your silly heart...and you realise how unworthy the world is....
That is the day you set eveything on fire.
Good riddance to all good hearted madness!
Wake up now!

Jun 19, 2008

Jun 13, 2008

Cutting Through it!

I (think) i am getting over adding I think to my every sentence...
somethimes i dont think,things just ARE!

Growing Tall Everyday

Everytime i get a kick on my but from life...telling me CANT HAVE THAT.
I cry, I shout, I pout.
These dreams that come to me uninvited...I put them in my little heart and they wreck havoc in there...
There's something in me that doesnt die with those dreams...
That something goes in my bones..becomes me..and i grow tall.
Everyday I grow tall because of all that I wanted and how wide I opened my arms to receive it...
whether it came or it dint come I dont remember..but my hands my arms streched till eternity to recieve it.
I dont close my heart when it doesnt come... I break it open
Is that why I grow tall everyday.
Taller than Yesterday!

Jun 12, 2008

Amor Fati'

"I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer."
Nietzsche

Jun 5, 2008

Mama

When I was a little girl..did it take a lot of effort to love me?

Jun 4, 2008

Not just here...

What happens when I am here and my thoughts ventillitate?
What happens when where I want to be hijacks the whole of my existence and I levitate on air flying without wings...it may be pure desire but its got sharp claws and it gnaws at me..will it not tear this mundane reality into building bridges with there ?
Even when I am here I am in a trance sitting under that gate
I am away...but I am knocking hard...and this slow thumping will become a deafning thunder...
because I am not just here today...I am there as well...
I was there all this while...extracting promises from the small slants of morning light that fell on my bed.
Telling it that I would reach there one day..
before today before yesterday...long long before I could have given it any name
I was never quite anywhere even when I was there...I was here at this gate.
And now that I have seen it..although am not quite there
You think ill not reach it...
I am not just here because just here is just not enough
I am there I am there I am there