The Good News

 Dear Old me,

You know me better than anyone else! How I live for just the pleasure of lingering on with you and everthing else that I have found in this life! 'Others' call us skinflints because of the way we hold on to things. How we wear the same clothes over and over again because we love them more and more as we grow older!(If only they could see all the memories that cling to them, how they grow softer and how the contours fit every corner of me and you!) The clothes absorb so much of you and me that It feels we are scaling our skins when we throw them. Wonder how are other people so good at 'getting over it'!
And yet both of us know how we have been 'Holding on for much too long now! Others see it! I see it! You see it! The same movie going round and round in loops! Gosh! So long we have been going on without any breaks! How did we manage? How has it been made possible for us to remain struck!?I don't know who we do it for my sweet old self!? For others or for us? What do you think?

Dont look at me with those hungry Dog eyes now!!! I know we have had a good life! I have loved all those times of sand in my bra, the ice-cream mountains, the coming back at night drunk and crying. The burning other women with stares, the shaming men with slurrs, the flying high and the coffee and icecream breakfasts. Kissing the butter babies of friends and writing away the mad stories at night.But we must this all up today! Just let us......

So I am putting in my papers asking myself to 'Get out of this old life now!' Its not that I dont love you! I do! I love your old big face like a Dahlia blooming with extra fertilizers. I love you walking out of  rooms half way through the night because you are too cold in the AC at 27! I even love how you completely stay struck at things and over people and dreams.(That Red Pajama isn't a hot weather dress I know I know! How you are already thinking of how to use this Jump in the old game! Shame on you! You really think you can go on without giving up?)

So at the risk of leaving all that I love(and you my stubborn clinging mad old tired back-ached heart-ached self!) behind I am plunging. Deep Dark Mad nowhere! I may never come back! Or I may only get more old hurts and pimples and rashes!  I hope ive learned to  scrub the toilet squeaking whiter than my teeth by the time I come back! Don't follow me! I need a break from the old life!

The good news if you still havent gotten it is ~~"Like all things pass. I too am passing away. My old life is passing away and its here that I want its shadow to stop following me!

The Good News Is 'This is the end!' No matter how good the film was! This really is the end!
And I don't god darn want any credit rolls! Thanks But no thanks!