Cold Calling

Dont know if you have ever held held the phone and called a number with cold hands, parched throat and your heart racing and mind fumbling for words. It is called COLD CALLING. Marketing executive do it 'calling strangers to sell a product'. and Allthough I havent sold anything to strangers in my work this feeling is only too familiar!

I was cold calling till a year back. Everynight at 10:30pm. Tring...Tring...Tring. the pauses in the ring could gulp me into eternal void and nothingness. I now think of myself as a very brave woman to have indulged in that kind of cold calling. Calling a stranger far away from me just to hear his voice and know how he was and if I was lucky offer some bits of my life to him. There was nobody around me who could 'BUY' my life and this has to be taken as my desperate effort to find a 'market'.

It was quite a thing for my weak nerves. They still sometimes shrink when they hear that familiar ringtone. I dont think there is any daring left in my bone to attempt it again with anymore. It is that shock that slowly dissolved into my veins poisoning through phone. I dont think cold calling would be so awful if it wasnt for the dynamics that a phone introduces into it.

Imagine calling someone you who wouldnt have to see what affect his/her reaction his rudeness will have on you! People can say the most bizzarre/hurtful things!
I am busy! I am eating! I am getting another call. I am busy working! I have to sleep. And sometimes simply I dont want to talk to you! Cant talk to you.. Not today.... not tomorrow..... not in a week Never ever!

It broke my heart. It made me phonophobic. I shudder when I revisit those memories. That gathering up all my courage to dial that one number before  sleeping at night. Those salted tears on my pillow. That mending hope for the whole of next day just to be ready for that Cold Calling ritual. Sometimes when I pass through those familiar places where I was cold calling from I hate their ugly presence. I hate how these places had witnessed me in my vulnerable hopelessness of dependency on someone else for my fulfillment.

I think Cold Calling is a cruel practise.No women should do it for anything in the world!  There is never a man in the world who would give you anything better than your own life to your offer of shaing your life with him...You ought to know its the time to hang up when your voice freezes as soon as you pick up the phone and the other voice becomes more important than yours.

There is no rule that says that just because you have a phone you should call the rest of worls to sell your life.
Hang up! Dont freeze yourself!