Apr 7, 2010

Memory is made of salt and embers

Memory is made of salt and embers. Look at what I have remebered!

The 1st strange dream of fecundity. Of fairies dancing around a tree bowing with ripe mangoes in a basement near my childhood home. I stood there thirsty for my chance to bite at a mango. But I stood in awe of white sparkling wings of fairies dancing in a circle. The dream comes back everytime I am in a new place pregnent with possibilities.

The taste of sweet parathas packed in a steel lunch box resembling a iron press. It always tasted the same 6 days a week. Mom doesnt make those paranthas anymore.

The graveyard that I passed on the way to school. Thats where our milkman died while grazing his cattle. He was riding a horse and the horse died too.

The little snake kept in a beaker in the Clinic of a doctor who put a menancing iron rod inside my throat to check my tonsils (I think that part of my throat still hurts because of what he did then). The snake looked very very sinister despite its size.

The vacation where Ma Pa and I were coming back from Nanital and the thunder shouted over our Jeep. There were raw mangoes covering the road and some fell on the windscreen of the White Mahindra Jeep that Dad drove.

The stadium where they kept the Ravana effigies before assembling them for Dusshera. It was such a far away place from home. But there was so much magic in it.

The white lily bed near the veranda in the Bareilly house. I think there was some black magic in those pink and white flowers that brought strange sensations to a 12 year old girl's mind.

Gill aunty( and I dont know her name..except Gill aunty..I dont even think her kids know her name) chopping onions and garlic in her little brown mixer sitting on her haunches. Now that she is dead I still remeber her doing that. I think thats what she did at all times of the day . Prepare Tadka for the food.

How I dance crazy to the Nache Mayuri song the day I came back home to celebrate the Summer vacations starting from next day.

The face of My first school principal Sister Adolphus who died. I still have her signs in my report cards of KG, 1ST , 2ND , 3RD, 4TH Class. I dont think she ever noticed that I too existed on this planet. She is gone but I am still here!

The salt stays in my blood, and skin. The embers shines in the anger against all the stays with me but doesnt take me along with it..If only the salt would dissolve and the embers die. The karma would clear up and I could be free.....

8 comments:

www.writer.co.in said...

Beautifully expressed! How strange it is a thought that the salt & ember that comes between oneself and her freedom is but what makes us who we are every second of our life. We collect even more now, but mostly sedated...I don't know if I would call it evolution but I know there's so much more to do and see!!!

Thanks for awakening me to my portions of salt & ember, Pearlie!

I could see you in these texts. And I miss you even more.

Pearl said...

So good to hear from you on the blog sweety.
We indeed are in large parts made up of our memories and we would knowit better than others!
I miss the sweet memories too!

Journomuse said...

Wonderfully evocative..I loved your blog...Admire your strong style of writing...Shall come back to read more...cheers!!

Aabha Vatsa said...

Poignantly written. Took me back to my childhood in UP

magiceye said...

wonderful imagery!

Chandni said...

hey pearl! didn't know you wriite so eloquently (and strongly). i'm going to come back here often :)

chandni

Cinderella said...

Whoever you are..I am sure your soul is made the stuff the lesser mortals talk about.

I love your blog! Soul writing of the kind I have read very very less of.

Bleeding glad you dropped by Handwritten and had me jaywalk to here.

Gonna be back.

Pearl said...

@ Journomuse- Thanks! :) Please come back often!
@ Abha- I am so happy to hear that it took you back to your childhood. One often hopes as a writer that the story doesn't literally stay struck to ones own example but should bait more personal stories from the readers. As a writer one can only hope that that happens. But its so reassuring to know that It actually did happen! :)
@ Magic eye- Thanks for going through it! Yes the imagery kind of stayed because it was so powerful!
@Chandni- You are welcome baby! :) Although I think you have got even bettr option of traveling all the time.
@ Cindrella- Thanks for reading! But i am surprised that you liked it so much! :) Do write in more often.