Mar 21, 2010

Walk free


Dear Story,

Its hard not to think of you today. It’s today that we met. You and I my beloved story.I don’t know if I walked into you or you walked into me. But it was quite a thing (this meeting) I always knew you were larger and bigger than what I could handle. But I trusted that I could carry you out. How wrong I was.

I remember the first time I looked into your eyes and dared to tell you that I was infact planning to bring you out. I could almost see the angels standing up and showering flowers. Here It was happening in real time. You would live forever, and I through you. The great beginning! Golden and Inevitable. For how could It not have happened? Every little twig, every bloody flower was whispering about us. Propelling us on this journey of coming out in the world to create.

I was so young and earnest that I never believed that any story that began like that could escape immortality. There were one thousand dreams that took of that day about what all would follow once you came. They were like parachutes of rainbow that started circling everywhere I went.

The DND at 90 Kmph. Swooosh! 5parachutes, Brahma studios Swishhhhhhhhh 15parachutes, Ruby Tuesday Fshhhhhhhwwww 500parachutes. Rao Tula Ram Marg Trrrrrrr 350 Parachutes, Krishna Chowk chssshhhhh 80 parachutes, IHC Drrrrrrshhhhh 5000Parachutes. Spice Mall trisshhhhhhhhh 43000parachutes. (They have still not all come back to me! I see them flying much above where I can shoot them down to come back to senses!)

And then I started seeing your cruel will my story . You didn’t want to come with me! Escaping me in big and small ways. You would run to others. You would disappear and appear in a stranger’s gaze. You would keep me waiting for hours and hours for just a few words. From just being my story you started becoming this great catch which ran faster and faster ahead of me!

There appeared no Blue pearls on the white immense paper of my notebook. The days and days and days and nights and nights and nights that I lived with a pen in my hand waiting for you. Struggling for a line that would take us ahead. Me and you. You and me. Me and thoughts of you. Me and me and Thoughts of you. No you! Only the palpable desire of straightening you on a page. I ran so hard. So hard. Got so bruised so bruised.

I didn’t know stories had their wills and ways. Such persistent cunning and morbidity. Even when you danced around my pillow , we slept alone and never met. Oh how hard I dreamed and prayed of bringing you out. The tears I cried when I thought of your cruel will You wily story!

I give up today my story. At the peak of my strength will and love. Go where you must go. Be whatever you must be. I won’t curse you anymore ( I never meant it anyway!) Go dance around like a cottonsilk seed. Drop where you really must grow. Die unplanted if thats what you like.

I have broken my pen today. Walk free of me my story.

Walk Free!

6 comments:

Diwakar Sinha said...

You wake up awefully early ma'am...and this i found out cos i didnt sleep tonight.
Or maybe you too didnt :)
post-wise: a lovely read

rainboy said...

setting your story free...
I don't what to say.
It was an extraordinary read after a long long time.

take care :)

♥ Braja said...

Unique angle, well done :))

Hitesh Rawat said...

yea.....it's not that easy....even i've been struggling to find wat to write about......sometimes....there is that dark spot....beyond which you can't see......

a tip if you'd like....don't be forced to write....but yea write whenever there is something to write abt in your mind.....

\,,/

Hitesh Rawat said...

and yea.....DND is just 90....go on express way....you can go....150 :)

Pearl said...

@Diwakar I dont wake up early, I didnt sleep that night because of this post. I was trying to push away a morbid anniversary from something from my mind by writing this. Thanks for reading!
@Rainboy Thanks for reading and commmenting. I am reaching that stage where its scary to think that how much or what peopl like can never be predicted!
@Braja- Thanks Miss Yogini- Tell me some remedy for bruised writers whose stories ditch them.
@ Hitesh- Thanks for the Expressway Suggession. I sure will try that. Maybe it will make me forget this wily story! :)