why do i write?

i write because i crave for the physical act of writing words...with this pitter patter on the keyboard or the smooth sweep of my chinese ink pen on white paper..its the time i get to play god..when the small voices i heard inside me can be given a body...the endless chatter of my mind automatically starts gettin into some meaningful shape as soon as i threaten to put it into words...

i write because i am a woman who likes keeping mum in real life
i write because there are some friends who deserve to know more about me then my tougue can help me reveal.
i write beacuse i think my life is important and the lessons that i learn will be precious enough to be shared
i write because i want to feel alive
i write because it is perhaps the only art i shall own
i write because it keeps me sane
i write because i was made a writing person
i write because my mom forced me to mug up all my lessons by writibg them again and again...so maybe it has seeped into my fingers
i write because i think that is the only way truly civilised exchanges can take place
i write coz maybe i am too civilised
i write to awaken the old wild woman who livs inside me
i write so that i can sharpen my claws
i write coz i must write!

if ???????????

if i could exist without taking space
if i keep quite everytime you hurt me
if i never notice the things that you do
if i never ask for anything
if i crouch everytime you are around
if i never question your motives
if i never asked any audacious questions
if i could help myself from being just another woman

would i be less offensive to you then?

Laughing out loud!

Sometimes in life when you are struck so bad that you cant cry, life becomes utterly hilarious...
It takes a lot of growing up before you can start seeing the humour in things....and thats when you can be sure ...that you wont marry the fly...
you wudnt become so subjective that you stop noticing other things and people.
Have been feeling guilty about laughing on what had happened in my life, but did I have a choice?
Heroine ran away leaving half the shoot,
Blew it up with a man who was like smell of wet mud...
Overstayed my welcome with a friend,
Didnt get a call from an job interview...
blah blah blah....
cudnt cry coz have no energy or patience left....has happened too many times with me...so am laughing like mad lunatic.....
The joke is on me! But its funny aint it...and it hurts less if you laugh out loudly.

April Rain

This april heat...and all that is unresolved in the heart

Dreams which play hide and seek....just behind my back

Ghosts which just about touch you, but don't quite!

Promises made to oneself,that one hasnt been able to fulfill

All that in APRIL.

I live in the hope of rain.....

DOES IT RAIN IN APRIL?????????

In Defence of Impossible Dreams!

Andrei Tarkovsky
D man wid impossible dreams


As I stand defeated in this round ONE ...I look at my dreams and think...well maybe they really were impossible!That they lacked merit!Other peoples dreams are better...the dreams worth dreaming...coz everyone sees the beauty of those dreams.

I am in the wrong time in the wrong season...what am I doing here?
This place that looked like home...and these people who have more often than not understood and nurtured...why suddenly do they turn their back on me ?

Did I go wrong? Should I have dreamed better?

AND THEN SOMETHING IN ME SURGES UP...
stange sensation in my gut..I feel like throwing up...take it all away...all this patronising, sympathising, support!!! all of it I can live without...but my dreams remain my dreams..They came to me without my asking them...I just look inside and see them there...they may have no reasons and they may be here in the wrong season...all that matters is they are mine...!I can't and won't be apologetic about them
AND THEY WONT DIE..THEY LIVE IN MY HEART FOR EVER AND EVER!
AND I SHALL NOT DEFEND IT ANYMORE IN FRONT OF SMALL PEOPLE!