THIS ONE BATTLE

This one battle...
This battle Against uncertainty...
against not knowing..
against not having been there all the bloody while when the decisions are made..
Everybody fights the same bloody battle
everybody wants to be focused...nobody likes being lost on the way...
nobody likes being on their own all the bloody while..
Nobody likes orders. Nobody likes being ordered around. Nobody likes being vulnerable...nobody likes waiting forever nobody waits forever..
Nobody likes being a nobody...
life makes nobodies out of us
then you look at life. you smirk...
you know its not going to be like this forever. you find your kingdom one day
these are the days of exile
the days of exile
these will be remembered as good days too
when you sit in your castle counting your pennies and your men
you will miss the days of being a mere nobody
when nobody on the street knew you
when you were free to sleep on the road
when you had all the blue sky to yourself
had the time to speak to every gulmohur on the road about this cruel indifferent world
this is the one battle that you will fight well
this is the battle you will win one day
this one battle that occupies your whole bloody life
this silly battle
this one battle that you and I fight today!
This one battle I am not loosing this time..
Do you hear me? Loud and clear? I am not loosing this time!
Not this on battle for this one time

becoming somebody....

"Mr Darcy shall we dance?":)

Wanting wanting wanting more!

What would I give to
1. Be near my own books that are lying at 10 thousand diffrent places.
2. Smell the sweet peas.
3. Go back to my village in the terai and smell the cottonsilks there.
4. Tell my Mom and Dad that I am doing well in life and they dont need to worry.
5. Go to Lucknow and stay with an old friend and tell her the every damn thing That I have missed out on telling her.
6. Hold your hand and sing with you ...there is no hurry in life...i am ok and I am doing well.

Flying....

It feels damn scary...there are knots in my stomach...I feel weak. I dont know what should I shove down my throat to shut up these crazy sounds from my gut.
Too much is happeneing...I dont know if I can take it..but I want to take it all in.I am in the air and i may die for all i know...
too much is happening...every cell inside me is charged sending loaded signals to my brain!my brain is wearing out.i am gonna give up..any moment...i may make the wrong move any time and come crashing down!
but what am i saying? i am flying bcoz because thats what i wanted to do all my life...i cant be bad at flying...ive practised it in my head all my life!
but what did i do to deserve it to get it now at this moment?
but lemme just fly!
shut up and fly
when youre flying dont talk just fly
dont think just fly!

Me and the fly....

The fly i think i shall escape
the fly i keep revisiting
the fly that never sits with me long enough to give me a choice to decide
the fly which has another universe than mine
the fly that goes away after stinging hard everytime
i wonder when exactly does it slip out of my mind that i am not supposedto marry that fly?
OK I MUST SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO MYSELF
dont marry the fly!

Goodbyes and all that!

What must I do, to tame you?
asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox.
First you will sit down
at a little distance from me
-like that-in the grass.
I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye,
and you will say nothing.
Words are the source of misunderstandings.
But you will sit a little closer to me,
every day..."

...................
And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye" he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox.
"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Shouting in the darkness

Shouting in the darkness
cold air cutting through me
whispering my songs under my breath to not hurt yout jaded ears
slowing my dance to keep you with me
holding the pressure at the seam of my veins
holding my smirk at the flicker of shame in your eyes
blushing purple everytime i look at you
feeling the karma bubbling inside me
never knowing what comes next
always knowing only one half of the story
and you never knowing anything!